The Fellowship of Suffering

“My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.” Philippians 3:10 (HCSB)

In the days following the sermon, I begin to ask God to help me understand the truth my pastor taught in Philippians 3:10.

I’m not sure I expected when I prayed this prayer. Maybe I was hoping God would write the answer in the sky or send me an email. Maybe I would hear the bells ringing and choirs singing in Heaven. I was sure, however, that I wanted Him to explain in deeper clarity what the scripture meant, not have me experience its truth first-hand in the flesh.

The prayer was answered on a hard carpeted bench in a skating rink, lit only by strobe lights and a disco ball reflecting on the skate floor. The suffering I shared was with a heart-broken six-year old tear stained face boy.  The boy: my son.

Several days of poor choices, bad behavior, and unacceptable grades led my husband and I to make some tough decisions concerning our son. After much prayer and discussion, we decided the best plan of action was to take away the blessing of free skate night if his behavior did not improve.

He was given notice and had one week to show us improvement. Oh, how my heart broke when my caller id displayed the school’s name and I realized Griffin would not be allowed to participate in the free skate night.

The punishment was for Griffin to go to the skate skating rink but sit with me and watch the other boys and girls skate. He begged to stay at home. Then he begged to sit in the car. My heart continued to ache as I watched his head bow low while I helped his sister put on her skates.

I did not sit with the other moms nor did I converse with teachers. I took my Griffin’s hand, walked to the opposite side of the rink, and sat down.

Tears begin to flow from his eyes and roll down his cheeks. I swallowed hard and struggled to hold back my tears as he crawled in my lap for comfort. In a brief moment as I held my heart-broken son and watched my happy-hearted daughter dance around the rink, a presence came over me, a knowing…a knowing of the fellowship of suffering.

It was a harmony of sorrow and joy. There’s pain from the suffering but there’s joy in the closeness you sense with the Savior, a joy you might have never known apart from the suffering.

Sometimes we learn Biblical truths and experience the character of God because we ask for deeper knowledge. Other times such experiences are a result of disciple, like my son. Regardless of how we arrive in the place of suffering we can count on two things: He is with us and we will know better Him because of the suffering.